


Forgive

by MunkUnk



Category: x-men:first class - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-30
Updated: 2012-07-01
Packaged: 2017-11-08 21:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/447687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MunkUnk/pseuds/MunkUnk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the beginning forgiveness doesn't come so easily.<br/>A series of random X-men drabbles/ficlets. Alternating between XMFC and X-men</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive: an XMFC drabble (AKA I had nothing better to do for ten minutes)

It hurts too much to remember what it was; what they were; to remember that once Erik had touched him with gentle hands, and spoken softly to him; that once they had been after the same thing; it hurts too badly to remember, so he dreams.

Some nights he will lie in bed for hours, thinking of the past (and then regretting it), sometimes he will reach, and reach, and reach; until he thinks he's touching the corners of Erik's mind. It is on nights like those that he can't sleep until he wraps himself around a memory he keeps hidden away; until he concentrates so hard he can feel the ghost of a touch; the whispers in his ear; the love he thought he'd had.

On nights like those he dreams he is not Professor X. He dreams Erik is not Magneto. He dreams that they are them; that they are together. He dreams that Erik loved (loves) him.

He sleeps, and he remembers a time he likes to pretend never happened.

He dreams, and he awakes with Erik's voice loud in his mind; and before he can even take in what he's saying (what he's begging for) he shuts the connection (though he had opened it, himself). And he pretends not to remember his dreams; and when his students ask how he slept (some of the braver ones go so far as to ask why he looks so satisfied), Charles will smile a teachers smile, and simply say "It was a good night."

But when he lies down to sleep after the day has ended he will hear a voice in the back of his mind, pleadingly whispering to him; and he will pretend not to hear it, and he will drift into a restless sleep, with Erik's voice sounding in his mind; and though it's a whisper, it is deafening.

( _Forgive me…_ )

[ _… No._ ]


	2. Hope

Without hope we often find that we cannot go on; that we are broken. But hope isn't something so easily obtained, not like it used to be; hope, it would seem, is incredibly scarce these days.

Hope is something that comes in many forms, and fashions. Under many names. Many forms (many faces).

Hope often times will keep us alive under the most strenuous of circumstances, against the greatest of odds.

Hope will lift us from the ground, when we crash down under the weight of all of the pain; anger; hate ( _deathviolencehatehatehatehate_ ).

Hope will tell us to keep walking, even when the winds are knocking our feet out from underneath us.

Hope will smile, and offer a hand when we don't think we can stand on our own again.

Hope will lie to you, until you believe in yourself. Hope will make you keep walking, running; crying; begging; hope will ensure you make it through.

But hope was much harder to find these days than it used to be. Hope had flown from him the same way the missiles had. Hope, he realized, had gone by the name Charles Xavier; it had had eyes so blue the sky looked dull; lips red enough to make him think of blood; flush on its cheeks pink to make him think of the sunset; hands soft enough to soothe him; and a mind like a trip wire.

And hope, he realized, would be trying to call him back, as long as it could. Because hope was persistent, and hope never gave up on you; even when you had long since given up on yourself.

Idly Erik wondered if he loved hope; but he concluded that he loathed it.

… until he would remember the sweet, honey smooth voice hope would use on him.


End file.
